The problem with solutions

The problem with solutions is you aren’t always happy with them. An irresolute situation creates more confusion, worry and strife than a negative solution. But a negative solution at least creates closure. You know what the situation is. You know what to do. You can move forward. Even if it doesn’t make you happy.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t change the fact you are unhappy.

I’m sure we’re all familiar with what the friend zone is. Men especially. Most people will settle for this either because they hope they might have the opportunity to break out of it or that what attracted them to a relationship in the first place is also appealing as a friendship. Most people convince themselves of the latter when in reality it’s the former. I say they are both useless. But for most a consolation prize feels better than nothing.

I met a woman tonight who often finds herself in the friend zone. She is beautiful and charming so this is a bit surprising. Japanese, but not as shy as many I know. She says she doesn’t know how some women get men to ask them out. Essentially, she doesn’t understand flirting.

Still, knowing how aggressive men can be and knowing she wants a boyfriend this seems unprecedented. And I feel guilty finding pleasure in knowing this happens to women too. That it’s not only men. That it’s not only me.

If learning to flirt is the issue, that’s certainly something I can teach. And if she’s interested in Westerners there is more reason for my upcoming posts on the different dating cultures.

I don’t see a relationship with the woman in question. Just another friend. I suppose I’m adding to the problem. But finding a place in yourself, secure like your home, is important. If we ever get back home, we’ll gray out our blues.


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